10 Things I’m Not FALLing For

You know I mean business if I’m willing to end the title of a post with a preposition and just leave it like that. 😉

Hello Autumn - cherierunsthis.com

Anyhooo, Happy First Day of Autumn! I’m so not a summer person and quite thankful that it’s gone for three whole seasons now. I also don’t care for the term “fall.” I think “autumn” sounds so much more, well, autumnal. But for the sake of this post and being catchy and all with the title, I’ll go with fall.

Being that it is autumn fall, it got me thinking. There are so many things I think about when someone says “fall” and it’s another reason I never use it to name this season. I think of the other falls first–falling down, falling apart, falling behind, falling in love (psshhh. whatev.), and falling for something. None of these sound good to me. {{The falling in love thing is still questionable at this point.}}

10 Things I'm Not Falling For - cherierunsthis.com

So while my mind was a’wandering as it’s been known to do lately, I thought of 10 Things I’m Not FALLing For. When in doubt, blog it out.

1. FACEBOOK

Perfect Facebook Life someecards

I’m just not that into you any more and had to deactivate my account. Moreso, I’m just not into the “perfect” lives those on my wall have been portraying. See, FB is different. I know these people in real life and I know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I know they are stone cold busted. Their “fake” happy lives were starting to make me feel like mine was lesser somehow. Like a good girl, I kept on scrolling, rolling my eyes, and clicked on something else for the moment, LIKE, LIKE, whatever… Then, I’d come back to my wall and it was more fluff from someone else. I couldn’t handle it. I’m a realist. I’m truthful if to a fault. If it’s a good day you know it; if it’s a bad day, you know it. No fluff. No fake. No fantasy. If your husband/fiancĂ©/boyfriend, children, house(s), cars, jobs, bank accounts, Pinterest creations are really that perfect ALL OF THE TIME, then kudos. But I couldn’t handle it anymore and I’m not FALLing for it. Twitter keeps it real. See me there if you need me.

2. ANYTHING THAT IS UNAPPETIZING TO ME

Impressing other people

I posted this picture somewhere a long time ago and then I found it again the other night. I read it about 637 times to myself. I end up doing sooooo many things that are important to someone else. Whether it be out of fear, guilt, not wanting to let anyone down, or doing it because I think I HAVE to–so much is done that is unappetizing to me. Nope. I’m not FALLing for it anymore. I reposted it on Instagram and from the response, it seems like a lot of you won’t be either. Good for us!

3. SCIATICA WILL SET ME BACK  FOUR YEARS

Weightloss, it's a journey. - Cherie Runs This

As I blogged about most recently, I’ve been diagnosed with a bitchin’ case of sciatica in my right leg. It is BLOODY TORTURE, y’all. My leg has been in pain since July. Not a day goes by that it doesn’t hurt. I had to take off time from the gym (doctor’s orders). I waited until that time had passed, attempted the gym for two days, and realized that was a bad, bad idea. Upper body, lower body–due to the kinetic chain, it’s all connected. I have trouble standing longer than three minutes at a time, walking is not great, and lying down is when it hurts the most. I’m going NUTS with missing the gym and I haven’t run in three months. I’ve told myself that I’m going to look like I did four years ago. (I know, I know—I should talk sweeter to myself, but again, I’m just being real.) I’m convinced that without the gym Fat Cherie will make a comeback. But NO. I worked TOO HARD to get where I am and I will not listen to my negative talk. I will not allow myself to believe that a little time off from the gym will undo my transformation. I’ve come a long way and I’m not FALLing for that.

4. I WILL HAVE TO SETTLE

Man with Cat_

Dating is a nightmare. Yes, every time I say I’m trying online dating, I get like, 19 people message me and say, “Ohhhh I met my husband/wife/fiancĂ©/boyfriend/girlfriend/lover” online!!” Let me not try to be snarky here, but, umm, — THAT’S GREAT FOR YOU. I know you’re just trying to share your experience with me and all, but it’s not helping, thanks. I’m not having such luck. I’m just about over it. You see that picture? That’s a real life picture of a potential suitor. Well, he tried to be a suitor of mine. I can’t say the rest are much better. The dating world has changed soooo much since 2004 (the last time I dated) and I can’t say it’s for the better. Actually, it’s awful. At this rate, I’d rather just stay single for a very long time until someone wows me. At present time, there has been no wowing. Not the good wows anyhow. I did tell myself that I would have to settle and adopt 10 cats (I know where I could get the first one), but nawww, I’m good. I’m not FALLing for that.

5. “JUNK” FOODS WITH ADDED PROTEIN

Cheerios Protein Box

Can we just stop it with the adding of extra protein to junk foods so we’ll think we’re getting something really special? They’re EVERYwhere. With this cereal for instance you could have two servings of it, get almost the same amount of protein for less calories. You’re being duped, people. But if you want to be duped, cheers. Do your thing. I’m not FALLing for it, though.

6. I NEED TO RUN/WORK OUT IN THE MORNING TO MAKE MY DAY BETTER

morning workouts

You know what makes my mornings awesome? SLEEP. And all those, “Workout in the mornings before your brain knows what you’re doing” memes irk the sh*t out of me. My brain always knows what it’s doing. It would know pretty dang well that I was working out too early if I dropped a dumbbell on my skull because I was sleepy. If I’m Team Evening Work-Outer, can’t I just do what works best for me and my schedule and keep it that way? Why do you need to make me think that I need to do what you’re doing? I like post-work workouts. They de-stress me. I’m awake. I’m alert. And I get to sleep in. This works for me. You trying to convince me otherwise, does not and I’m not FALLing for it. Tried it, didn’t like it, NEXT.

7. IF YOU STILL LOOK CUTE AT THE END OF YOUR WORKOUT…

if you still look cute at the end of your workout

Cannot stand this mentality. Or the ones about wearing make up to the gym. I usually have make up on when I go to the gym (again, I go after work). So after I work out, and I do work out hard enough, thank you, my make up is still on. And yeah, I guess I pretty much look the same as when I went into the gym. My face doesn’t sweat much–don’t hate! But my back is gross & sweaty. Anyhow–this meme isn’t valid; it’s poppycock. Maybe others should look within themselves to find out why it matters so much to them. I WORK–non-sweaty face, still flawlessly applied make up, hair in place and all. I’m not FALLing for this.

8. I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, BUT IT’S COMPLICATED.

side chick

It’s not even about being cute, but you get the picture. Again with the dating thing–I’m awfully tired of the “Well, I have a girlfriend but we’re not really together” or “Yeah, I’m seeing somebody but we’re about to break up” or “I do have a girlfriend but it’s complicated.” I don’t want to be the side chick; I want to be the only chick. Until you are single-single, please go away. Let’s say we end up dating and you do break up with your girlfriend. Then, my old side chick position is now available. Now what? I’m not FALLing for it.

9. I’M ALWAYS GOING TO STRUGGLE WITH MONEY

The Rock quotes

Most of you know my story–you know what made me go on this weight loss journey. You may remember my mother saying four words to me with her very last breath before she passed away in June 2009. “Save money, lose weight.” Looked me straight in the eyes when she said it, I promised her I would, and she closed her eyes. You can see I made good on the lose weight thing. But ummm, that money tho. Not awesome–and getting separated and being on my own with a sh*t ton of bills didn’t help. I moved back home to Pennsylvania a few months ago to start life anew and right now I’m temping–and that position could end any day. Yeah, so bills galore, no savings, no secure career, living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like I am just treading water and could drown at any moment. FABULOUS. This could completely push me over the edge; I try not to let it, but most days I’m right there. But I have to believe it won’t always be like this, right? I promised Mommy, right? I will not always have to struggle like this. I’m not FALLing for the doubt that takes over my mind at times telling me I will.

10. MY OWN SELF DOUBT

side eye nene

I’ve struggled with self doubt/self esteem issues for like, everrrr. I jokingly said to somebody that I lost 85 pounds but didn’t gain one ounce of self esteem. Sadly it’s true. Just when I think I’m feeling okay about myself, confident, looking all right, etc, I’ll get one of these side eye looks from someone and *poof* it’s all gone. At first, I’ll think, “Oh she’s just jealous. She’s a hater. I look fine.” But then, it all gets turned around in my head, “Well, maybe you do look a mess. You gained weight. Did you get dressed in the dark this morning, Cherie?” Ugh. Always, always a work in progress, but I must work on not FALLing for what my self-doubt voices like to tell me. They’re liars. They’re probably summer people, who work out in the morning, look sweatastic afterwards, brag about their lives on FB, have tons of money and eat protein laden cereals. 😉

Comments 4

  • Your comment about losing all that weight but not gaining any self-esteem touched me because I definitely feel your pain there.

    GIRLFRIEND, you have a following on here that is nothing but supporters. I know it’s easier said than done, getting your self-esteem up. I have the same problem and sometimes I have to remind myself that people are judging me as hard as I am judging myself. But know that you’re awesome and don’t be too hard on yourself.

    I go to Weight Watchers meetings at my job, and a few weeks ago had an eye-opening experience where we had to write down things we say to ourselves when we slip up. The comments were read aloud by the leader (anonymously). We were all SO negative. She then told us to write down what we’d say to someone else in that same situation, and everyone was encouraging. I just saw how much I could easily encourage others but was quick to tell myself I was a failure in the same situation. You’re a rock star, and don’t let anyone tell you or make you think/feel otherwise.
    Haley recently posted..Love coming across a perfectly timed reminder when I need it…My Profile

  • What a great post! I’ve had a lot of similar life changes in the past year and each day is a struggle to just stay balanced as I teeter back and forth from the ledge. So close to falling every minute so each choice is crucial.

    Minus the coffee I choked on as I read, then saw, your potential suitor, (dear Gawd!) I found hope in your top 10. I too have been distancing myself from FB due to comparisons of the “perfect lives” that surround me, the never-ending debt after divorce, constant self- doubt, and the inevitable feeling of defeat which is thankfully followed by starting anew. Try and try again we must.

    Thank you for being REAL. So hard to find these days, especially online!

  • Ugh, online dating is the pits. Aside from handsome winners like the one you posted (;-)), there is an inordinate number of coddled mama’s boys/insecure beta males who demand easy access to copious amounts of female attention through no real investment on their own…who boast on their profiles about not paying for dates without the promise of sex (yeah)…who actually have no intention of ever meeting in person because they’re simply shopping for virtual side pieces…who are just looking to cross a “fantasy” (read: fetishized) experience off the bucket list but wouldn’t have approached you in person…girl.

    I’d join a Meetup/social group (for running/fitness, maybe?), attend professional workshops/conferences (for bloggers/freelancers, maybe?), or even join social advocacy groups (I hear great things about the Urban League, and all the NPHC GLO’s have alumni chapters) to meet men organically before I swam in the cesspool that is online dating hoping to fish out something other than a slug.

    Of course, the paid sites may be better, but I haven’t tried them as I’d rather spend money on something that will definitively benefit me; I could pay and still not find a partner through that avenue.

    As for temping: if you can, befriend HR (lol), access the internal postings, and apply for any openings that may be a good fit. Keep your ears open to see if they anticipate anything opening up. Also, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. 🙂 At this point, due to the gift of hindsight (*sigh*), I wouldn’t plan to stay in any temp position longer than 3 mos. unless it were specifically temp to hire, and I would *NOT* wait around for it to end in hopes that they would offer to make me permanent.

    Allllll that said (lol), fall/autumn is my favorite season too. 🙂 We WILL channel this inspiration to kick butt beyond our own imaginings!

  • OMG I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You gave me just what I needed to pick myself out of this slump.xoxoxox