Prozac and Other Reasons to Smile.

Oh what a difference a week makes.

And new meds.
i love prozac

Last Monday, I had had it with the evil side effects with which the Zoloft darkened my doorstep body. I mean, c’mon man, if you’re already struggling with clinical depression and your symptoms include being lethargic (RE: seriously, seriously not giving a flying flip about ANYTHING), sleepier than a narcoleptic, having no energy, and the worst appetite ever, why would I want to take medicine that just made those symptoms ten times worse AND added on the lovely bouts of emergency bathroom trips?? {I’ll stop right there as it’s TMI.}

I wouldn’t. I didn’t. I could no longer. As much as I was set on making it my comeback week of Cherie-type normalcy and going to the gym right after work, I made an emergency trip to my doctor instead. I had heard about the joys of Prozac from random people, a sorority sister, even the nurse who checked me in was pro-Prozac, “I’m on it right now! It makes everything better!” she exclaimed! Well, then…sign me up, I figured. The doc tried to lure me onto some other medicines, but I held fast to my decision. I want the Prozac, lady. She obliged.

I took it that night–I’m on a low dose for the next week still–and after about a day or two of getting it through my system, the crappy {seriously} side effects subsided! I don’t feel worse like I did with the Zoloft, and I don’t feel like I’m on a constant, superficial, happy trip, smiling like a doggone Disney character like I did with the Paxil from years ago.
I love prozac

I feel….okay! Okay is very very good, y’all!! I haven’t felt okay in MONTHS. I still have the depression–haha, it doesn’t go away like presto-chango, people–but I think I’m coping a little better. I haven’t had a raging crying session at home or work in a week, my appetite is normal, I’m not dog-tired, and I have enough energy to make it to the gym! This is progress!  I know some people are not very pro-drugs {I don’t want or plan to be on them forever} but I am very pro-Prozac. Without it, this week could have gone down a whole other path and I don’t even want to think about that.

******
Now, you know what was super cool that made me smile last week besides happy pills?

This.
piper tank top oitnb

Friggin’ Piper Kerman. THE Piper Kerman knows of my existence! Well, even if for a quick moment…she tweeted and retweeted me! I made a lil tank top showcasing the names of some of my favorite characters and she liked it!

You do know who she is right? The author of Orange is the New Black? Surely you’ve seen the show on Netflix that was adapted straight from her book…it’s A-MAA-ZING. Anyhow, this show was/is somehow helping me thorough the depression. Not only does it take my mind off things for a while, but it just speaks to me in so many other ways. Gina Vaynshteyn summed it up with 100% accuracy when she described it this way: “This is a show about emotional, physical and psychological turmoil that occurs within prison and oneself. It’s about Stockholm Syndrome. It’s about survival and social issues. It’s about love and absolute hatred. Most importantly, it’s about a young woman in her early thirties who gets busted for a crime she stupidly committed ten years ago post-college, and now she is confronted with her past life, her inner rebel, and…moldy prison pudding.” Dang, it really is speaking to me.
OITNB pipers page

Anyhow, yeah, it was just super awesome to look at Piper’s Twitter page and see my doggone shirt up there.
OITNB hashtag

And then type in the hashtag #OITNB and again see my lil shirt! 😀 I was most certainly smiling.

*****
Yesterday, I was on the ball with cooking and meal prepping. It felt good to do it again. When my appetite was pretty much non existent the past couple of weeks, I was like, ehh, I’ll eat eventually. But when the appetite would come back, it did with avengeance and ALL I wanted was carbs. Lots of them. Horrific amounts in the form of bread, cheese, cheese puffs, pizza, crackers, and mac ‘n cheese. I’m not joking. This was my diet for the past two weeks. I tried to eat clean and healthy. But for some reason, the only thing my body was accepting was the crappy carbs.

Well, about 6 pounds, extra belly pudge, and two weeks later, I’m finally feeling like resuming my normal clean-eating ways as usual. I can’t explain why I was craving that stuff–I RARELY do–but thank heavens that’s over!!! I obliged, ate and ate and ate, and wondered when my normalcy would return. Finally it has. Prozac, if that was your doing, again, I thank you! So, I’m behind {again}, and was {am} down, but not out!

I got in some good workouts this past weekend and even ran again.
81013

Also, I was cooking up a storm!
turkey legs and collard greens

Sunday mealprep…turkey legs and collard greens. {A girl can only eat so much chicken and broccoli–I needed to switch it up!}
strawberry protein shake

Fancy protein shakes…
french fries oven baked

Oven baked, scratch-made fries for dinner… {yes, regular potato fries–sweet potato fries make me wanna retch.}
strawberries dark chocolate covered

Decadent scratch-made dark chocolate covered strawberries for dessert! I can’t look at those and not smile…

So yeah, I was in the kitchen pretty much all day. But that beats being in bed all day, so I’ll take it. One day at a time…one day at a time…

May you all have a great week ahead and thank you SOOOO very much for your kind words on my last post, FB, Twitter, Instagram and email. They meant the world to me. 🙂

Comments 10

  • <3 you. So glad you're feeling better!!!

    PS: I've been meaning to watch OITNB…heard it's awesome!
    Melissa @ Live, Love, & Run recently posted..Plugin on the fritz.My Profile

  • I work in behavioral health and I am so happy that you are aware of how your body feels and regulates itself. Sadly, too many times, people are afraid to go against their doctors recommendations. I hope that you are feeling yourself again soon! Thanks for sharing your journey and normalizing the struggle with depression.
    Lisa Runs for Cupcakes recently posted..Lessons from Marathon Training: Part 1My Profile

  • I am smiling because you are happy! #teamCherie Look at all the positive energy coming your way to keep the smiles coming.

  • Cherie, I have depression too and I have NO will to exercise at all so you should feel proud that you still get out there and exercise. Exercise helps with depression but I can’t pull myself off my couch.
    vicki recently posted..Day 2 -5 of the Master CleanseMy Profile

  • Glad you are feeling better and making progress. Also glad to know I am not the only person who hates sweet potato fries!

  • Glad you are feeling better! And you’re right, one day at a time!

  • I meant to comment last week when you bravely wrote about your depression. I was diagnosed in 2003 after attempting suicide. One of the hardest things for me about depression is the stigma associated with it and feeling like I can’t be open and honest about my illness with most people. Only my closest family and friends know and some of them are great and some not so much. So I applaud you for laying yourself bare for the world to see. It must be “freeing” and probably helps lessen your symptoms some, by not feeling isolated and afraid of judgement. I wish for that some day…I have been struggling too the past couple of months. My biggest symptoms right now are lack of energy, motivation, and insomnia, which makes everything worse. I started my weight loss journey April 2012 and lost 78lbs in a year. I know I’ve gained a few pounds back, gratefully my clothes still fit, although some are tighter than usual. Exercise has helped keep my depression at bay this past year, which is a good thing, because my job doesn’t cover mental health. So I’m currently not on medication or going to therapy, both of which I desperately need. I haven’t exercised on a regular basis in about 2 months, which isn’t good for my physical or mental health. But, my sister gave me a practically new elliptical yesterday and I’ve used it twice already and about to get on it again. It felt really good to get my heart rate up and break a sweat after all these weeks of lethargy and stuffing my face with really unhealthy stuff. I knew I needed an intervention when I ate 2 packages of cookies by myself, except for a few of them this past weekend. I haven’t done that in at least a year. lol. I have a 24 hour gym opening up within walking distance of me in a few weeks. I’m hoping that and the new health insurance marketplace becoming available in Oct will get me back on track again. Anyway, thanks for your openness. Your brave act last week probably helped several people, like me, who suffer in silence…

  • Hang in there and hope it works for you. Luckily running is my prozac :-). I noticed that when I eliminated sugar from my diet the mood swings and carb cravings subsided if that helps.
    Rene recently posted..Real Food & Heart Healthy DietMy Profile

  • Mmm, turkey legs & collard greens…my kind of clean eating! 🙂

    Glad you’re feeling better hun!

  • I came across your story on Cnn.com. After reading your story I wanted to know more about your journey so, I headed over to your blog. I love seeing “real” people with real results. I too am on a journey to get healthier and be my own success story. 🙂 This week you did an Awesome job…keep pressing forward and having faith that you will and can overcome this obstacle. God bless and I look forward to many more of your articles.