“In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.” –Flora Edwards
I love to help people. I go beyond and out of my way to help when I think someone needs it. But early on, my mother tried to get me to understand that I shouldn’t help when I’m not needed. I would always insist on “helping” her and it ended up causing her more trouble, haha. She’d sigh, roll her eyes and say, “Cherie, don’t help me. Help the bear.” To this day, I’m still not sure what that phrase means other than I shouldn’t help someone that doesn’t need or ask for it.
But what do you do when someone has specifically asked for your help, you give it, and he or she doesn’t listen? Here, I’m particularly speaking about weight loss, healthy eating and maintaining a fit lifestyle. As I say in my disclaimer, I’m not a doctor, life coach or dietician. But I have made a significant, HUGE, 180 degree change in my life concerning my health. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I eat healthy, I work out and I’ve lost 60 pounds and am on a journey to lose the last 30. And, I have absolutely never felt better in my life. So, I fully understand why someone would look to me for advice. It’s humbling and an honor that someone would inquire, seeing as how only 18 months ago, I was in sad shape and health.
Now, as I said, I do love to help. It’s rewarding and it just plain feels good. But nothing burns me up faster, then when I spend time helping, explaining and coaching someone to her healthy path, only to find it littered with fast food wrappers, empty pizza boxes, and pure laziness. Seriously, how can someone beg for my help to get her where she needs to be on her weight loss journey, and after I spend precious time doing so, she blows it? It’s oh-so-frustrating. And sad. Is there a proper way to do it? And again, I’m not a coach, so maybe that’s why it’s not working? But should I just sit there and be reticent when they ask for my help?
The saying goes that you can only help those who help themselves, but when it is time to stop helping? Should you ever give up? Or just keep standing by them while the only exercise they’re getting is leaping off the wagon to go chase a food truck?